High Noon..

Let me pain the picture that I have in my mind for you.

As I see it, it's 1885. I'm in a tavern sitting in a dusty bar with a pianist playing awfully in the background. I've just downed a shot of whiskey and my face is scrunched, but it's only a physical reaction. Mentally I'm in another world. I don't notice too much that's going on around me, only my objective. A clock hits and the town bell sounds in the distance. When I stand, the whole tavern falls silent and awaits my next move. They know he's out there, I know he's out there, and that after all these months, it ends right here, right now.

I walk calmly towards the doors; face stern, stance stiff. Making my way toward the dirt road, they all flock to witness. They duck behind posts, lean against rails and stop their horses midway in hopes of seeing what happens. I crack the kink in my neck, brush my brow and await his words...It all comes down to this. Four years of bloodshed to make it here, and I refuse to let him win. He looks confident, as he should. After all, he's one of them; the high-and-mighty law. He's got years of experience under his belt in sending men with hopes like mine to their graves. But they won't be me. Sure, I've accepted the fact that we can't all be here forever, but not by his hands...not today.

He stands a good 40 yards away. The sun hits the star on his chest like a call from God, he's a messenger of death. He's been decided to leave this town and head back east to North Carolina with his wife and little girl. I understood. No rational man could take too much of this place before it took its toll on you, but I was his one loose end. He had passed judgment on my entire posse, and out of all 19 of us, I was the only one left. He walked roughly 13 yards rested his thumbs on his belt and with the smuggest smirk said, "So Woodard...this here's the FINAL stand."

I didn't want to respond. I only wanted to leave. There had been so much that I had been through already. The most important, losing my love. I remembered all the nights I wrote until my hand could no longer trace the pains of my heart. I worked 18 hours out of the week, still wanting to express my thoughts; but alas, my efforts came up short...she didn't get 11 of my letters, and it broke her heart. So much so she killed herself for thinking that I didn't care about "her." But I did. The pressures of my posse, my brothers, and trying to sustain a decent life in all of this chaos diverted my attention...but I cared...always did...always will.

"Now Woodard, you have to make a choice. You tell me how you wanna handle this. I know you want out of this life, but I ain't about to let you waltz out here 100 percent, I just wouldn't sleep too well at night if I did that."

I said nothing. I refused to let this end all that I had worked so long to achieve. Four years of preparation lost to four months, I wouldn't let it happen. I rounded up the courage and frustration that had been built up in my soul for as far back as I could remember, and with the readiness of fighting for my survival I yelled at the top of my lungs as loud as humanly possible, "Carr!"

He had gotten to know my comrades and me real well over the last few months. He knew that I had heart, and that I wouldn't go down quietly. I had more fight than them all. Sure, I'll admit, I had struggles, but I learned. I learned skills that I could use outside of this place. I had learned the value of responsibility in one of the toughest years of my life. Yet in still, he was insisting on passing my judgment.

"You win Carr, I know I'm not perfect, and you know this. But I'm not going to let you kill me and leave me here to die," I said. I was passionate, I had to play my hand on emotion, it was my only chance to make it out in one peace.

"Now why should I spare you boy," he said, "If anything, it would have been your own doing that put you in this predicament in the first place."

Carr looked at me viciously, but I wouldn't budge. I was calm, steadily watching his movements, but calm. The crowd knew that this was the moment. One of us was going to do something epic, and that’s when I saw it. He didn’t flinch, he didn’t cower, but there was a moment of remorse. He had seen that I was sincere in changing my ways, and that I went well. “I can’t lie to you Woodard, given all that you’ve done, and lack there of, I can’t let it end like this,” he said.

“So what do you mean?” I was slightly confused at his statement. here I was walking into a fight I was prepared to shootout until the death, and he gives me the pardon.

“You’ve come up slack boy, but I see you’ve got promise…I won’t lie to you.” That’s when he did the unthinkable.

“I’m gonna turn around, and if you leave, I won’t stop you.”

I didn’t believe it at first. He I was thinking that all of the work that I lacked, all the things that I had done would surely bring our fighting to arms. “C’mon now Carr. You and I both know that that’s not gonna happen. As soon as I walk into that there sunset, you’re gonna take that pistol tucked there in your holster, and shoot me dead.” I was really at a loss as to what to say, so I let my emotions speak for me.

“No,” he said, “You’re a good kid. Sure, I’m not too fond of your work, but I’ve got a feeling that you’re gonna do something great with your life son. I won’t recommend you be anyone’s mayor, but I’m not gonna condemn you to hell either.”

And with that, Carr turned around and faced the stunned crowed behind him. You could tell that they didn’t believe him either, and with good reason. He was leaving, what was one more body to add to the toll? However, he never turned around. He stayed facing the howling wind running wildly as the florescence of the dimming sky set in. This was my chance.

“I admit Carr, I’m no angel, but if what you’re saying is true, and you do see that I’m a changed man, I hope that you Believe in me as much as you’re preaching. I admit, some of my partners put in a lot of work, but I gave my life to make it this far, and I’m hopin’ you can see that.”

He didn’t have to turn around for me to know that he was smirking. I could feel it. Yet even in his skewed sense of humor, he knew where I was coming from.

“I’ll be seeing you Woodard,” He said, back still to me. He tilted his hat, and started walking towards his horse. The crowd parted something like the Red Sea when he made his way through to his horse. “Take care son. I hope you do make somethin’ outta that life of yours.” He kicked the right side of his beautiful stallion and like that, rode off.

I walked away from a changed man, and realized something great that day. Sometimes the measure of a man can’t be figured in numbers, letters, or words. Sometimes it takes a genuine trust of unknowing. Call it what ever you want: faith, hope, optimism, but I honestly believe that day, Carr saw who I wanted to be, and gave me that chance. I had done it; I had graduated into the life I was destined for. A life that no one in my family before me could ever state claim to. A name to be remembered, forever.